one thing that bugs me

OK...there are many things that bug me, and this is merely one, but I thought I would share. Have you ever noticed that in almost every commercial or movie where a scene takes place at night, the streets are ALWAYS wet. As if it had just rained. You see this most often in car commercials, as the car, truck, or SUV is moving through a hip, urban setting, and everything looks fresh and new because the ground all around them is perfectly and symmetrically wet...but there's no puddles, that would be ugly. It's as if they're trying to say that it rained right before the car came whisking through the cameras purview...like it rained just a little bit...just enough to get every square inch of pavement wet...and then stopped abruptly. Don't get me wrong. This is not one of things things that I stay up at night worrying about. Let's just call it a mild annoyance. I'd bet that many of you reading this haven't the slightest idea what I'm talking about. So I would like to challenge you to see this for yourself. Pay very close attention for the next week. Try to find an instance in a commercial or movie that DOES NOT mimic what I just described to you. If you've never noticed that this is the case, I think you'll be astounded at how prevalent it actually is. Thanks...that is all.

Pooptastic! Don't worry...funny poop...not gross poop.

So it's been a while since I've posted a blog. But some events have transpired recently, that I felt the urge to share with everyone.

Recently, we've been dog-sitting for a friend who is moving. So it's one of those extended dog-sittings. We don't mind, because the dog were are sitting is a dream. Her name is Tinkerbell, and she's a mini black-and-tan Dachshund...so basically a mini-Linus. And they are great together! But Tinkerbell is seriously one of the sweetest, most low-maintenance dogs I've ever met....and man is she quiet! It's very nice to have a dog that doesn't bark every time a flea farts...but it'd also be nice if she barked when she really really really needed to go outside. The other night, the dogs and I were downstairs watching TV after I got home from work. The dogs had already been out twice since I got home, and it was time to go to bed. So we went upstairs to go to bed. As I'm getting ready for bed, I look out into the bedroom, and there's Tinkerbell squatting and peeing on the floor...I guess it snuck up on her.

Then, the next morning, after the dogs had been out twice previously, I was getting ready for work...and found where Tinkerbell had pooped on the floor in the bathroom...!!

This was not the worst, however. Last night, same scenario, I had been home from work for a little while, and the dogs and I were downstairs watching TV. Well, whenever we're downstairs, we have a baby gate that we put up so that they dogs can't run amok upstairs without our knowledge. And it's not a big deal, because the cats can jump over it to get to their litter box upstairs...or so I thought. I know I have seen Autumn jump over it a million times, because sometimes she knocks it over when she does so. But after the events of last night, I now recall that I have never seen Austin jump over said baby gate....

Here's the scene: I'm watching TV, the dogs are playing with each other. Then I hear both of them go into the downstairs bathroom, and are obviously interested in something. So, I get up to go see what they're doing...envisioning the two of them wrapped up in an entire roll of toilet paper or something. When I turn the corner, I see both of them looking up towards the sink in the bathroom. So, naturally, my eyes follow their gaze...to see Austin...squatting in the sink...pooping!! Apparently the poor guy had to go, and couldn't jump over the baby gate!!! At least he had the sense to poop in the sink!!! For those that are easily grossed out, skip the next paragraph!!

When I get Austin upstairs, and go back to the bathroom, it hits me...the most foul odor I have ever encountered. So I turn on the bathroom fan, pull my shirt up over my nose and mouth, and spray about a whole can of air freshener in the bathroom, directly into the sink, and all surrounding areas. Sadly...this dead nothing for the putrid odor that was now permeating through the entire downstairs. I summon the courage too look into the sink to see what could be causing such an abomination. I see a big...I mean BIG pile of brownish goo. So I did the only thing I could do, (because I know if I left it for Candice to deal with, I would not be alive to write this!), I turned on the hot water and washed it all down the sink! Then I left the hot water running, (hopefully to sterilize the sink), and went to the kitchen and grabbed a scrubbie and the comet...and went to town on that sink.

If you skipped the last paragraph, welcome back! So I don't know what's wrong with the animals in my care! I listen intently for any sign that the dogs might need to go out, or a cat is in distress....because lord knows, cleaning up poo and pee-pee is NOT my favorite thing in the world to do!

Anyway...that's it! I just thought I would share!

Nicotine Patches are fun!

So I started the nicotine patch last week to quit smoking, and one of the things they tell you is that it can cause "vivid dreams". Boy has it, and I wanted to share 2 of them, because they were awesome!

So it was maybe the second or third night on the patch, and I had the following dream:
It was the last game of UGA's season, and for some reason we were playing Florida in the last game, and for some other reason, I got to play. I don't know if I was going to school there or what, but it's a dream so it doesn't really matter! So here we are in the last game of the season, I'm on the field in Sanford Stadium, House is our coach...yes I said House from the hit show on Fox, (I think I had just watched a house marathon before going to sleep!). So I was playing and I was kicking ass, and we ended up beating FL 84-14. We're going nuts, the fans are going nuts. One of the players asked, "Wasn't that an awesome game?"...to which House replied "NO!", and hobbled off the field with his cane...he is an ass remember! Then, a few of us hung out on the field to relish in our victory while the stadium cleared out. After it cleared, Matthew Stafford threw me a few passes. Then finally we headed to the locker rooms. I got lost going to the locker rooms for some reason, and meandered around campus. I ran into a friend of mine from college, Allison Pig, and we talked for a while. Finally I found the locker room, but apparently it was the wrong one, because I walked through and there sits the FL cheerleaders, acting dejected because their team had just been beaten so handily. Finally, I made it to the correct locker room, where I took off all my equipment and went to go take a shower, but I didn't have any soap. But magically, a little bar of hotel soap appeared in my hand. So I showered and there's where the dream ends.

Dream number 2, I had this one last night:

Apparently in my dream, I found out that my dad was the first bassist in the band the Doobie brothers. I saw his signature on the liner notes of their first album. But apparently, he left the band shortly before the release of said first album because of some unknown reason. After I found this out, I worked it out to reunite him with his former band mates to start the band over as it should have always been.

I think I had the latter dream because I watched some of "This is Spinal Tap" right before going to sleep. One of the scenes was the one where the former guitar player comes back to the band, right before they were to play a concert.

So there you go! Just thought I'd share!

Why is it so hard to donate furniture?

Not one of the actual couches, but close.


So I called the Salvation army on Tuesday to schedule them to pick up 2 couches, a computer desk, and a microwave stand-type-thingy. They said they could come out on Wednesday...I said "great". Then I realized that Thursday would be better for me, so I called them back. Ten seconds later, presto-chango I am scheduled for today, Thursday. They told me that I could call after 8am this morning to find out when the truck will be at my house. Super.

Begrudgingly, I awoke at 8am...on my vacation...to call them. Don at the salvation army told me that the truck would be at my house after noon...most likely after 1pm, to him I said "great". Yay, I could sleep in a little more. I hang up, set my alarm for 10:45, and roll over. Then the phone rings...Don from the salvation army again. "Hey man, Don from the Salvation Army. Yeah that pick-up was scheduled for yesterday...and was cancelled". I reply to him. "Yes, I cancelled it on Tuesday, and at the same moment rescheduled for today". Don, "Oh. Well whoever you talked to didn't actually reschedule it for today". Me, "Well you need to kick their ass, because I asked them twice if we were indeed on for Thursday". (Side note: after the conversation, I realized I said "kick someone's ass" to a person with the salvation army...a Christian organization...oops.) Don, "Yessir, I will hit them over the head".

So, I began tring to find another organization that could pick everything up today. Did you know that Goodwill doesn't do residential pick-ups, and the Kidney Foundation doesn't anymore either, unless you're donating a CAR?! So, I'm stuck either rescheduling with the salvation army, and hoping that whoever I talk to can actually use a computer and enter the information correctly...or taking them to the dump, which I was trying to avoid doing. You know, save the planet...blah, blah, blah.Why should it be so hard to donate items to the less-fortunate?! AARRGGHHH!

work sucks

All I’m going to say is that work sucks. I know some companies have people who search their employee's online profiles or blogs. I am not sure if mine does or not...so that’s all I’ll say. I’m sooooo glad that at 11:45 tonight my vacation begins.
In better news, I went to the doctor today, and in the words of Julie, my nurse, my blood counts looked like those of a perfectly healthy male...so that’s good!!
but I’m still pissed...

quote of the weekend

quote of the weekend
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Everytime Candice and I go to Lenox mall, she always talks about how much she hates Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel. This weekend, I got to the bottom of her hatred. She said that both companies are communist...I laughed, and I asked her why they were communist. She said because they are trying to take over the world. And I asked like the squirrels? She replied yes...like the squirrels....Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel are run by a bunch of communist squirrels who are trying to take over the world. That is all...

looking back...

So...it's been one year since I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Oct. 18th was the exact one year anniversary. It's just weird to think that just a year ago, my life had been thrown upside-down. I cried every night...wondering why this had to happen to me. I could have easily given up hope, when I was told that non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, when caught, is almost always a Stage 4 cancer...very aggressive. I had my Halloween party as usual, but I couldn't really enjoy it, because the news was still so fresh...I was still so shocked. I know everyone says that the waiting is the worst. It truly, truly is. The week or two it took to get those initial test results were absolutely grueling. I knew I had a very tough road ahead of me. I won't lie and tell you that it wasn't bad. The standard chemo treatments, truthfully, weren't as bad as I had made them out to be in my head in the weeks preceding treatment. But the stem cell transplant was by far the worst experience of my life to this point. It kept seeming like I couldn't catch a break. It seemed like if there was even the slightest possibility that something could go wrong...it did. And in most cases, that wasn't merely my perception of things...that was the truth! If you could ever ask my doctors, they would tell you how I was incessantly the exception to everything. I mean who gets a 106.8 degree temperature?!! Me!! I didn't even know you could survive a temperature that high...well, apparently you can!!

But now...a year later...I'm here. And I don't want to sound overly dramatic, but I will not ever look at life the same way again. I have always tried to live life to the fullest, and that, of course, will not change. But I just don't get as worked up over some things like I used to. What's the point? I will, for the rest of my life, keep looking over my shoulder for the cancer to come back. I'm not "cured" of cancer, I've just kicked its ass. But, it could still get up and try to fight again...and of course, I'll kick its ass again!! I'm just content that I'm here, and still able to live my life, and continue on with my dreams. And I'm going to keep the same positive attitude I had throughout the course of the treatment. Maybe, I'm dumb, but I don't know no better! So here's to living the next year cancer free!!

drumroll please...

So, as we near the one year anniversary of my diagnosis, I had my 100 day post-transplant check up at the clinic today, (actually the 100 day mark was on the 16th, but who's counting...I mean other than me obviously!). In gearing up for this checkup, we had to re-do all of the tests and screens and biopsies. The most important of the two are the bone marrow biopsy, (they literally take a bone sample from each hip bone, and a core sample or bone marrow from one hip bone....without sedation), and the CT/PET Scan, (I describe it as a really cool cat scan where they can tell what, if any, cells are metastasizing into cancer cells). So today was results day. My nurse practitioner, Susan, met with us first and kinda went over everything. Then Dr. Morris came in to give us his definitive thoughts on everything and where we stand. He sat down with my chart, and said, "I've looked through all the scans and tests, and it's my opinion that you are in complete remission". Now this does not mean that I am necessarily cured of the non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. This means that as of this moment they do not detect any cancerous cells. After the five year checkup, if we're still in remission, he says he will feel fairly confident calling me "cured". The Northside Hospital radiologist who read the CT/PET Scan did notice an area of "questionable nodular tissue" in the area of my splenectomy. Dr. Morris just thinks, (and says this is fairly common) that when my spleen was removed, my body grew a lymph node in it's place...what some call a phantom spleen. And it was noted on a previous post-splenectomy PET scan, and was noted as between one and a half centimeters and two centimeters. On this PET scan, it has shrunk to 0.9 centimeters. So, he's not concerned about it, because if it was lymphoma, it would be growing, not shrinking. He said we'll take a look at it after the next PET scan in 3-6 months and reevaluate then.

So, it's all good news!! I am still in remission...we're still kicking this thing's ass...and we'll continue to do so!! I just wanted to share the news with everyone. Hope you're all having a good week!!

Sorry for the delay

I know it's been a while, but I'm slowly getting back to my normal life, and it's been a little busy lately. I had the last spinal tap with interthecal chemo a couple of weeks ago. It went fine...got the hiccups for 48 hours again...yay. I am now back at work. I started back last Wednesday, and worked the morning shift Wednesday through Sunday. I hate the morning shift. On top of that, I'm now on day 7 of 8 straight. Welcome back to work!! But, believe it or not, I am still glad to be back. I feel that I'm finally back to normal. I still have to go to the doctor to get my levels checked, but now it's down to only once every 3 weeks or so. I'm feeling good, my energy level is good. I had some weirdness last week. I started with an irritated throat...and my skin hurt. I know that sounds weird, but it feels kinda like a muscle ache...but in my skin. Both of these were side effects that I experienced after chemo. I thought that was weird, because I haven't had any chemo in a while. But, after doing some research, apparently you can experience chemo effects for years after receiving chemo...so I have that to look forward to! But all in all, I'm doing good. My new schedule at work starts this week. I'll be working Saturday-Wednesday 3pm-midnight. While I'm not necessarily 100% happy with it, (because it screws up another college football season), at least it's a consistent schedule. No longer am I working 3 nights, one midshift and a morning shift. But, I'll hardly ever get to see Candice...and again...no games at UGA.

On another note, I just found out a friend's dad was just diagnosed with cancer, and while it's still early, the news hasn't been good so far. While I don't want to say who this friend is, in case he may not want everyone to know, please keep him and his family in your thoughts and/or prayers. Also, as some of you know, one of our anchor/reporters, Jaquitta Williams was just diagnosed with breast cancer. She already underwent surgery, and should start treatment soon. If you would also keep her in your prayers as well. Thanks all, and if anything new happens, you'll be the first to know!!

Spinal tap #5...yay.

So, yesterday I had my fifth of six total spinal taps. This was only the fourth in which on top of removing spinal fluid for analysis, they also injected chemo directly into the final fluid to make sure there are no lymphoma cells in my spinal fluid. As you may have read in previous blogs, I do not do well with spinal taps for the most part. There was only one in which I did not get what they call a spinal headache. This is in response to the spinal fluid being removed from the spinal column. Then when you stand up the fluid runs out of your brain to fill the void in the spinal column. Thus your brain has no fluid cushion and therefore rests directly on your skull...which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is not pleasant. Take every headache, migraine, etc. you've ever had and multiply it by a hundred and you're getting close. The last spinal tap I had before yesterday I contracted what doctors call chemically induced meningitis. This is, as my feeble brain understands it, a type of meningitis caused by the harshness of the chemo that was given during the procedure. This landed me in the hospital for ten days, and could only be treated with massive amounts of steroids. So my doctors decided that this time , not only were they going to try a different kind of chemo, they were also going to "throw every drug they could think of at me", in hopes of stemming any headaches, caused by meningitis or not. So they put me on a five day regiment of steroids, and upped my dosage of anti-seizure meds as seizures have been known to result from messing with the spinal column and brain...go figure. They also had me come in to the clinic today to receive two liters of fluids..we all know how I love getting fluids intravenously. But they sped it up today, so I was only there for four hours instead of eight.

As you all know, I am what you may call a medical anomaly. Whereas the body is supposed to completely replace your spinal fluid every hour and a half or so, my spinal headaches have never started until 36-48 hours after the procedure. So we've reached this crucial threshold...everyone wish me luck. I'm hoping that I'm going through the worst of it now...which has been almost constant hiccups for about the last 24 hours. My guess is this is caused by the steroids and/or extra doses of the anti-seizure meds...I'm hoping. Hiccups have also been known to precede migraine headaches. Yippee. So who knows what the hell is gonna happen.

Sorry this blog was not riddled with humor or wit, but I'm just a wee bit nervous as to what will happen in the next 24 hours or so. I just wanted to give you all an update as to what's been going on with me lately. And to quote the famous Bartles and James ads from the 80's, "and we thank you for your support.". I know, some of you may be too young to remember those, but I'm convinced at least some of you will get that one. Until next time folks!

Discharge...the good kind!! Not the bad kind!

Today was day 40 after the transplant. When I last left you, my intrepid reader, we were told that I was to go to the clinic today for my "discharge appointment". My discharge was all hinging on what Susan, the nurse practitioner, and Dr. Morris had to say about my condition. Susan was first...she came in and chatted with us for quite a while, and then asked if we had any questions. She answered all of our questions...here's some highlights. No, I can now go to restaurants, but at like three in the afternoon when no one's there. I can stop taking about half of the medications I am currently on. She said that she would leave the questions referring to the high school reunion and whether or not I'd need any more spinal taps. Shortly Dr. Morris came in and we asked him about those two things. Still a no on the reunion, because, (and he's right), the risk of getting a respiratory infection is still a concern. And, even colds are more severe with me...meaning they would last a lot longer and could easily progress to something more serious. And yes he wants me to have two more spinal taps. He thinks the last time I had one, the spinal headaches were from the chemo...kind of a chemical reaction of sorts. The next time though, he wants them to use a different kind of chemo, so hopefully I won't get the
horrible headaches.


After Dr. Morris signed off, we just had to meet with Erika, who was our original transplant coordinator. She just wanted to go over where we go from here. Here it is:

Since I've been discharged from the clinic, I'll now go back to my regular oncologist, Dr. Goldklang. We'll have to go once a month for blood work, and he'll arrange the spinal taps. We won't do those until after the 100 day mark, though. So, at the 100 mark, which is September 16th, we'll go back to the clinic to repeat the PET/CT scan, the bone marrow biopsy, blood work, etc. This'll let us know if we indeed got it all. Then we'll go back in 6 months for a recheck. Then 12 months, 2 years, then 5 years...you get the idea.

So that's it. No more going to the clinic everyday, no more bags and bags of fluids, no more stays in the bone marrow unit...good times! Speaking of the bone marrow unit, we went over for a visit today. We went over there because mom wanted to talk to the unit coordinator about making a donation since they were so good to us. Everyone was excited to see me and hear the good news, and it was good to see all of them too! So, I guess that's about it!! Another good news day!! Be looking for my book in the next couple of years!! haha....right!

More cancer news...

OK. So after a long break, we went back to the clinic. Actually, first we went back to Dr. Basha, (sp?), who was the one who removed my gallbladder. This was just your standard post-op checkup...no big deal. But, he did have to remove my stitches. Man...did I wish I had taken some of those lovely pharmaceuticals before I went. Some of the stitches were kinda "embedded" into my skin...yeah...re-read the sentence before this one. As not fun as that was, there weren't many of them, so it didn't take him long. And Dr. Basha kinda looks like my friend Kate's husband Kevin, so that helped a little. I felt like Kevin was removing my stitches. So, he said he doesn't need to see me again, unless there's an issue with healing.

As we were leaving his office, the time was around 9:45am. My appointment at the clinic was not until 12:45pm. But Dr. Basha's office was on the floor below the clinic. So we decided to just stick our head in at the clinic to see if they could work us in early. They were not busy at all, so Jana at the front desk called Susan our nurse practitioner to see if she could see us earlier than we were scheduled. While she was waiting to hear back from Susan, they went ahead and pulled me back in the back to have my blood drawn for testing. When we went back out into the waiting room, Jana told us that Susan said we could go ahead and go home, and Susan would call us later to give us the results of the blood work and to answer our questions. So, at around 10:15am, when our appointment wasn't until 12:45pm, we were on the way home!

Well, Susan just called me a few minutes ago. She said once again my labs were excellent. She also asked if I had been given my discharge date yet. I said no...then she told me that my discharge appointment at the clinic is July 18th at 10:30am! And she said she sees no need for me to even come back to the clinic until then!! I had written a list of questions I wanted to ask, and my fiancee, Candice, had also come up with a few. I won't give you all the questions, but I will give you the answers...kinda like jeopardy....no? OK...whatever. I can now start driving again. She just said to remember that my reaction time may not be what it used to be. I can also move back home...YAY!! Going back to work on August 15th also is still a go. I can be around my babies, (Linus the Puppy and Austin and Autumn, our Kitties) with no problem. I just still cannot change their litter box...sorry Candice. The only negative answer to a question I got was as to whether or not I could go to my high school reunion on August 4th. Because I still shouldn't be around large groups of people, unless you can absolutely guarantee that no one is sick...so that one was a no. But all in all...oh my God am I happy!! I going to be able to start moving closer and closer to my normal life!! I of course wanted to share all of this with all of you as soon as I could, so that you all could share in my continuing good news!! Keep your fingers crossed that it continues!! I hope this finds all of you well. I'm going home!!!

Good news??? This one is cancer-related.

OK. I don't want to spoil y'all by giving you three blogs in a week...but when I get news I feel I need to share...I need to share it!

I went to the clinic today as usual. Appointment was for 12:15 as usual, but as usual we got there around 11:45. I was called back for blood work, as usual. But one thing today was different. Because yesterday was a holiday, a lot of us got today off. So, today...EVERYONE was there for an appointment. So, after the blood was drawn for the blood work, instead of just going back into the back to find a chair...there were none. All were full. So, back to the waiting room until one opened up. It wasn't long before one did, and so after they had everything cleaned up, back we went to get hooked up to the IV for fluids as usual. It usually, (I know I keep using the word usual a lot, but my life's been pretty mundane lately, so that's the way it is), takes about twenty to thirty minutes until the blood work results come back...today was no different. But when I get the results normally, just one of the nurse techs brings us a copy and there's no fan fair. Today, my results were brought over by our mid-level nurse practitioners Susan, (these are the nurses who are the gatekeepers to the doctors and ultimately, with the doctor's approval of course, decide your course of treatment), which as I said is unusual. She plopped the results down in my lap and said, Well, your labs look great. So, I'm cutting you off fluids". Which if this were the only news of the day, I would be ecstatic because I hate sitting there for four hours of my day, only to get a 1000ml bag of saline injected into me. But, she didn't stop there. She then said, " So, we'll see you on Monday". And I looked surprised...and happy of course!! Then she said, "Monday we'll check your labs again of course. And since you're not gonna be getting fluids anymore we'll go ahead and pull out that PICC line, (which is the line in my arm with three lumens coming out of it. Which is similar to the catheter I once had. It's used to infuse fluids, draw blood, etc. Refer to previous blogs if you're confused), And we might be able to cut you loose in a couple of weeks". Now if you'll do the math with me, I was told that after the transplant I would have to be at the clinic every day for fifty days. Today is day twenty-six after the transplant. Day fifty would be July 29th. Now, if like Susan said, they "cut me loose" in "a couple of weeks"...that would be two weeks before they were supposed to. Now, this does not mean my life immediately will return back to normal. I probably will not be able to return back to work until the already set date of August 15th. But, many of the restrictions that are in place will be lifted. I still don't have all the details. She did say that some of this may change, depending on what my labs say from time to time. And I don't know if I'll now be going once a week, or twice or three times a week...all of this will be worked out as we go. A few things I do know, however. All of the things that were set for the 100 day mark will stay the same. The most important of these is, that will be when we'll repeat the bone marrow biopsy and PET scan to see if this damn thing worked. If, as we all know it did, this damn thing did work, I will then permanently be released from the clinic and return back to my normal oncologist for follow up treatment and to keep checking on things. Just to reiterate, I will not be out of work or out of commission until the 100 day mark. That's just another bench mark for us to look forward to.

Now, as you all know, throughout all of this, I haven't been one to follow convention or the usual course of things. So, I really thought seriously of not sending this out for fear of jinxing it. But, I really do feel good and the numbers don't lie. Now I still have a little trepidation as we go forward, knowing how this whole process has gone for me. But I am really excited, because this is really good news, as I'm sure you'll agree. Sorry again for so many updates in so few days. Also, sorry this was a long one...but I had a lot to tell y'all!! I do look incredibly forward to returning to a normal life and spending time with all of you again!! Love y'all!!

A Conundrum...non-cancer related.

I'll start this one with a disclaimer. At times it may seem like this is the willy nilly ramblings of a madman. But trust me, dear reader, I will get to a point. Here we go...

When I'm done drinking a bottle of water, it leaves me thirsty. Does that make sense? We're told that water is the ultimate thirst quencher. But, seriously, when I'm done I have cotton mouth. This just doesn't make sense to me. I do, however, have a theory.

I am a southern boy, born and raised 15 minutes south of Atlanta. Which is the home of Coca-Cola. I was raised drinking coke. I even used to have a coke for breakfast, sometimes and nothing else. Since I was a young boy, I have drank coke...or atleast some incarnation of carbonated beverage. There was a cherry coke phase, there was a mello-yello phase, there was a surge phase, there was a Jolt cola phase, (man that stuff was good), and finally a Mountain Dew phase. But throughout, you could always count on a cold refreshing coke. They always say that you shouldn't drink such beverages, because they could never truly quench your thirst because of all the sodium and carbonation and yummy high fructose corn syrup. But, when I, your intrepid writer, drink a coke...my thirst is quenched. Seriously....no cotton mouth or anything. I'm thirsty...I drink a coke...I am no longer thirsty. So, here's where you come in. I need your opinion on my hypotheses.

Hypothesis #1: Water leaves me wanting more because that is it's nature. There ain't much to it, so it simply wets your whistle while you drink it, but when you're done, your whistle is no longer wet. There's more to carbonated beverages like Coca-Cola, so they satisfactorily quench my thirst.

Hypothesis #2: Water would satisfactorily quench my thirst. But, due to years of conditioning myself with high sodium highly carbonated drinks like coke, my body craves such bad things and nothing else will do....kind of like a crack addict. You get started and you can't stop.

I will reserve my thoughts until you can have your say...if you even give a shit. I don't know...maybe you all think I'm a loony. I don't know...whatever...have at it. if you will.

Oh and happy 4th!!!

Nothing new to report...

Ok...I realize it has been a while since I have posted anything. But, no news is good news. Nothing has really changed, or is really going on. I'm on Day 25 after the transplant, which as I'm sure most of you know that's Day 25 out of 50. After Day 50, we won't have to be at the clinic every day, and I will probably be able to go home...yay! So, for now it's just coming to the clinic every day for bloodwork and having to sit here for like 4 hours getting IV fluids. I hate IV fluids. Normally I just sit here and sleep, or look at cars online...don't you want my life? So, Just wanted to let everyone know that everything is going good. So far, no more random surgeries or trips to the hospital...knock on wood. I hope everyone has a wonderful Independence Day...the whole family's coming over for a cookout, so that'll be nice. I'll let ya know if anything happens or changes! Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers...love y'all!!

Unnecessary Organs in my body 0....my doctors 3.

Sorry it's been a while, but things have been pretty busy here at the Northside hospital. Anyway, all those details are pretty mundane, so I'll spare you the monotony. Long story short I was more than likely slated to leave this place today...yippee!!

However...the only detail that relates to this particular blog was that every evening I was running a fever, sometimes reaching as high as 104. So, in trying to figure this conundrum, they decided to give me a CAT scan. They thought it might be sinus backup, or fluid in my lungs, or worst yet a head cold!! OOOOOO! But, what they did discover with the tools of modern medicine was that my gall bladder was enlarged and not the right consistency for a normal gall bladder.

Now for those of you who are just now joining us on the magical mystery tour that is my life, (minus the Technicolor dream coat), I'll throw this out to get you caught up. Or you could not be lazy and scroll all the way to the bottom and start at the beginning. But as most of you are like me and demand instant gratification, the way we found out I had cancer in the first place was that I underwent a CAT scan to see how many kidney stones I currently had and what size they were. When the Doc looked at the results, his exact words were, "Dude...your spleen is huge!). Not really the type of medical jargon one might expect from an accomplished ER doctor, but I definitely knew what he meant. So I went to an oncologist, did some tests that found out that it was non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, the bulk of it residing in "huge" spleen. So then I was referred to a surgeon to take that puppy out, which was done so on November 10th, 2006. Once it was removed, pieces of it were sent all over the country to be typed and analyzed. And with most abdominal surgeries, the appendix is also removed at the same time. I guess it's just now widely accepted that the appendix is useless and just taking up space, and acts up ever now and then to make its presence know. Well, I silenced that puppy....bitch. Now enough of the past...

...and on to the present. I was given the wonderful news that the fevers every night, problems with (sorry I have to go here), diarrhea, were more than likely due to my weird gall bladder. Doctors consulted each, where I'm sure there was a lot of head nodding and grunting in agreement with each other to boost the individual egos at the table. Actually, I like all the docs here at Northside. I joke that I've had just about every other procedure done here, I might as well try to be the fist man to birth a child...after all this is known as "the baby factory". I've gotten a few chuckles from my awesome idea but so far no serious takers. So, instead of going home today after staring at the same walls for 3 weeks, I got to go to surgery...and there was much rejoicing...yay. Normally when removing a gall bladder or a spleen, it's done laparoscopically. Which, I'm sure you already know is where they make a tiny incision, (usually more than one), which is basically a small camera with instruments of torture attached as well so that they can remove whatever tissue they desire back through the first small incision, No muss, no fuss, no horribly hideous scars. Now, with my spleen being the size of a regulation NFL sized football, this was not a option. So from that one I do have a pretty big scar, and if anyone asks, I got it in a knife fight in Calcutta.

Sorry I ramble, but I'm on quite a bit of prescription drugs, (refer to the previous blog entitle
"Cancer sucks....but the drug-induced haze is nice). So, back the lecture at hand, the main difference between having this procedure done laparoscopically and the old-fashioned slice and dice method, is the length of hospital stay post-op. Seeing as laparoscopic is less invasive, it requires less time in the hospital, which of course gets my vote. But the Doc seemed to think in our consultation that the sheer size and thickness would prove this impossible...I'm starting to not like this doctor. So it comes time to wheel me down to surgery. Keep in mind you can't eat or drink anything for 12 hours prior to surgery. We get a call saying the dude that will be doing the anesthesia got a flat tire on his motorcycle as he was getting off the exit for work. So he had to push his bike to a safe place on the side of the Glenridge connector, and then hoof it the mile into work, carrying all of crap for the day. I finally begged someone into letting me have 2 (yes I said 2) chips of ice to tide me over until after the surgery. I will say this about the anesthesiologist dude. Had he gotten a flat tire on his KIA or Geo metro, I would have no sympathy for him...at least he was on a motorcycle.

So, everything's setup for the surgery, and as always with me, I don't even get to start counting along with the doc and I'm already passed the fuck out. But, when I awaken after what seems like 5 seconds, (which in all actuality was around and hour) I find a very pleasant surprise...(Whatever might that be, O quandary of modern medial science?). Where I expected there to be a huge bandage covering my brand spanking new huge scar...I see 4 small cotton balls covering the 4 tiny incisions from my gall bladder being laparoscopically removed from my body!!!! So, this means, (barring anything else unseen cropping up, as usually does with me), I could be released as early as Tuesday, which in my opinion, is MUCH better than a week from now!!

And one last note of importance, today is like day sixteen of fifty after the transplant. My counts are looking good, which means the stem cells are finding their new homes, moving into their new houses, perhaps doing some nice landscaping...but they're doing their jobs dammit!! They're rebuilding my immune system!! OK, I should probably get some rest. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it, even though I'm still in a good bit of pain from the surgery. More updates as they become available!!

Cancer sucks...but the drug-induced haze is nice.

This blog will more than likely be brief for reasons you, the reader, will quickly understand. So, I'm sitting in the chair next to my hospital bed, right at midnight, and here is a list of the wonderful pharmaceuticals I am currently on: Oxycontin, (potent pain killer), Phenergan, (narcotic-like anti-nausea pill), Benadryl, and Ambien, (lovely extended release sleeping pill). I love my doctors and nurses...but I have a love/hate relationship with the pharmaceutical companies. I think the price gouging in the industry, (especially for meds typically prescribed to seniors on fixed incomes) is nothing short of a travesty. However, and this is a ginormous however, man do they make some good shit!

"Why are you on all these drugs?", you the astute reader may ask. Let's start with the most potent first...the oxycontin. With the high-dose chemo that was used to wipe out my immune system, inevitably you develop what's called oral mucositis. Chemo kills all rapidly growing cells in the body, a category to which the cells lining your mouth and throat belong as well as the cancer cells, and the hair follicles. So, you get burn-like sores in your mouth and throat. As powerful as oxycontin is, it does not even begin to touch the pain caused by this. I still ask for it, though, because it makes me feel good, (side note, when I just typed that I got the image of Charleze Theron moaning that into Billy Bob Thornton's ear, and I am now scarred). Because of the mucositis, I am currently on a liquid diet, and mom went out today and bought a bunch of yogurt tubes, snackpacks, (butterscotch and chocolate...fuck yeah), and Ensure plus nutritional drinks. Good news though...the Doc says this typically only last around 2 WEEKS!! Moving on...

...Phenergan, some of you may know this one for it's fairly common, and used for nausea. One of the side effects of the chemo is nausea, so I'm on like three different anti-nausea meds. But this one makes you sleepy. Next...

...Benadryl, if you've never heard of this or its side effects, please go back under your rock, and where did you learn how to use a computer...I'm impressed. I'm on it because, we think, one of the antibiotics I'm on has caused me to break out in a lovely rash. Are you wishing you were me yet? And finally...

...Ambien, I'm sure you've seen the commercials for this one with the lamps flying around peoples room and they can't catch them. I like it. If any of you have tried to sleep in a hospital, it's a formidable task. just like New York never sleeps, apparently nurses don't either and they punish you for it. So, every night I get my two Ambien, pop in some ear plugs, and throw on my gay eye mask that reads "Pamper Me" on the front of it. Yes, I know it's a gay thing to wear, but I like it so fuck you! :) So, with that said, I'm about to go do those three things right now. I'll talk to you later!

Back in the hospital

So Monday was supposed to begin the IV high dose chemo. But, monday I was back in the hospital. Sunday night began as normal as usual. I had started feeling a little weird. I started having little jerks in my extremeties, and having what I called brain hiccups. These are where I'd be in mid-sentence, and my brain would hiccup...meaning I would have no clue what I was trying to say. So, I was back in my bed room, watching TV, and the next thing I remember I was laying on the floor with my mom and grandparents standing over me. Apparently I had had a seizure. So, mom and I gather up some things and head to the hospital. Apparently with the oral high dose chemo there is a 1 in 10 chance of causing a seizure. Well if you've been following this blog along, I am the 1 in 10.

In case some of you didn't know, I grew up with epilepsy. But I eventually grew out of it. My neurologist and I agreed on this after I had graduated out of college. Well I saw a different neurologist yesterday, and I didn't like him. He said that chances are I've just been lucky and haven't had a seizure in the last 7 years...which seems like a crock of shit to me. So he recommended we be on a different anti-seizure medicine until after the transplant, and then I can make the decision to stay on it, or wein myself off of it for good. I can tell you right now, the decision is made. I'll be weining myself off of it when the time comes. I'm done with epilepsy. It just seems like a huge coincidence to me that for 7 years to have no problems with seizures, and then when we start pumping all these chemicals through my body...now we have a problem??!! Oh well....let me know what you think.

So, I'll be in the hospital until after the transplant, which luckily is still slated for Friday. I am wayyy ready to get out of here though. I want to be here....no more. I hate people asking me every 5 minutes when my last bowel movement was, and why I'm not giving them more pee. I just like living my life question free. Last night I was woken up every hour by the extreme need to urinate...that's not how I want to sleep...and that was with sleeping pills!!

Oh well, I'm done bitching. I can stil thanks God that I"m still on track for the transplant!! Although I would much rather not be in here...that is all!

High Dose Chemo

Current mood: tired
Category: Life

Ok...so I started the oral high dose chemo yesterday. So far I feel fine. The pharmacy lady at the clinic said I prob wouldn't start feeling bad until around the time of the transplant. Which, if you're following along with the home version, is a week from today!! So, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Anyway, I am thoroughly impressed with the oral chemo pills. In essence, each dose is 24 little pills. But what they've done, so that you don't have to sit there and take 24 pills, is to put 6 of them into one clear gelcap. That way, I'm only taking 4 pills instead of 24...pretty ingenious. On top of the chemo pills, I'm also on 3 different anti-nausea pills, and anti-seizure meds. I'm on all of them because 2 side effects of the chemo pills are vomiting and seizures...good times! So, I've got the weekend off, and we go back on Monday for the IV high dose chemo. We'll do that for 3 days, then I'll have Thursday "off", then I'll get my stem cells back on Friday the 8th!! So, just keep praying that everything goes according to plan and we stay on schedule!! I'll update y'all when I have more!!

Currently watching : Modern Marvels - Walt Disney World (History Channel) Release date: By 28 March, 2006

oh my god

If any of you watched any cartoons in the 80's, you must must must watch this entire clip. Do not open it unless you have 30 minutes to kill...seriously it's 30 minutes long, but sooooooo worth it!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bto7l3cKhvk

Happy Birthday...have some chemo!

So tomorrow's my birthday...I'll be 29. So, just like Christmas, I'll be spending my birthday getting chemo. And today, I started the first round of the high dose chemotherapy, which will kill my immune system. "Why would you want to kill your immune system?", you may ask. We want to do that so that we can start with a clean slate when we re-introduce the stem cells which we have stored for the transplant.

This first round of the high dose chemo is by mouth. I'll be taking 6 pills four times a day for the next week or so. Then the next round will be the IV high dose chemo. So, long story short, I'm gonna be feeling like shit warmed over for the next few weeks. But, the good news is, this is the last step before we re-introduce the stem cells, and start the road to recovery. So, even though we still have a way to go, we're on the downhill stretch. Which is good, because I'm sick of this shit. I know that I have to go through all of this, but I'm ready to have my life back please! :) Every day this week the weather has been nice and I see all these guys riding their motorcycles, and want to be out there on mine. I want to move back into my house...you know, the one I pay the mortgage on! I want to be able to spend time with my fiancee. I want to spend time with my dog and cats. I want to be able to sleep in my bed. I want to spend the evenings sitting in the rocking chair on my front porch. Believe it or not, I want to work! I am just ready to take my life back from this stupid cancer! And I know that this is the last step before that can happen. Don't take this as me not being optimistic...I'm still optimistic. I'm just frustrated and ready to be done. I think all of you can understand that. And I'm a little apprehensive, because, where as I know this is the nasty part, I have no idea how nasty it's gonna be for me. They've told me what I could expect, but I have no idea what to expect...does that make sense? It's just a very weird time right now, and I don't know what to think. Again, I know I have to do this, that it is vital to my continuing to remain on this earth. But, I just wish I didn't have to go through all of this. I guess I'm just going through a bout of the "Why Me's?". Which I think I'm allowed to do from time to time! I think I've earned the right to bitch and moan whenever I feel like it. I have remained fairly positive throughout all of this thus far, so one little bitch session is OK...right?

If this impromptu bitch session was not OK with you...tough shit...don't read it! :) I do feel a little better...OK, not really. But, I think venting from time to time is necessary to cleanse the soul. I'll continue to keep you guys updated. And I'll let you know if this high dose chemo really kicks my ass. Happy Birthday to me!!

Cancer Crap 3

Ok...I realized it had been a while, so I thought I'd give everyone an update on what's been going on with the cancer shit. If you've been following your schedules, I should have been lounging at home all week giving myself shots of neupogen to boost my body to produce white cells so that we can collect stem cells for the transplant. However, on Sunday, April 29th, my body had a different idea...

I was at my mom's house, she's my primary caregiver through all of this since I can't drive, doing everything as I had been, when I started getting really cold. So we grabbed the thermometer, and sure enough, I had a temp! But we just kept an eye on it, and the clinic said we should come in if it got to 100.5 or higher.

Well, Monday morning it hadn't gone down, and it actually got up to 100.6. So we called the clinic and they told us to head in. We got there probably around 9:00am. I was shaking pretty bad from the fever, and it hadn't gone down any. So they put me on fluids, and gave me IV Lasix, which I soon learned is liquid devil. It's a diuretic, so makes you have to pee a gallon every 10 minutes. Anyway, things were not getting any better, and so around 2pm I was admitted to the bone marrow unit at Northside Hospital. They gave me more Lasix, and there was much rejoicing...yay. So, they said I obviously had some kind of infection, and with my blood counts being as low as they were, they had to find out fast what it was and stop it, or I could very well die. More good news for me. Blood cultures were done, urine samples were taken, I also had to get tested for VRE, (which I still don't know what VRE is) which involved swabbing my booty hole with a Q-tip...I love hospitals. Anyway, they were giving me lots of fluids and Tylenol trying to get my fever to go down...it didn't.

The next day the doctor told me that they were narrowing down what the infection was, but the blood cultures would take a few days. But from the urine sample, they were fairly certain that the infection started in my urinary tract. But they had no idea how far it had spread, and seeing how the body hates foreign bodies, they would have to take out my port and brand new catheter that I mentioned in the last update. I was scheduled for surgery the next day to have them both taken out. As we were getting ready to head down for the surgery, my fever started getting worse and worse. I was shaking so bad from it, that they had to give me a shot of Demerol to stop me from shaking. The IV nurse was in there trying to put in the IV since I would no longer have the central catheter, but she was having trouble because of how bad I was shaking. My fever was so bad that the Demerol only lasted about 5 minutes before the uncontrollable shaking started again. They ended up giving me 3 shots of Demerol, which is a bit too much, as I started to throw up, (most of which I had to be told later because I had absolutely no recollection). Our nurse did not want to tell us at the time, but my temperature at the time was 106.8!!! I didn't even know it could get that high! So I was taken down to surgery. As you could imagine, with a temp of 106.8, I was sweating buckets, so that was making it hard for them to prep me for surgery. Since my nurses knew I was going in for surgery, I couldn't eat or drink anything prior to surgery. Now, hours later and god knows how much I had sweated out, I was dying of thirst!! So they got me prepped, and had to wait until my blood pressure stabilized before they could do the surgery. I laid there for what seemed like hours. The nurse started giving me the medication for what they call twilight sleep. This is usually uneventful, and you drift off into sleep. This time I started feeling weird. My eyes started going back and forth uncontrollably, like in REM sleep. My legs started twitching, and I just had this really strange feeling. I kept saying I felt weird, but nobody answered me and I don't think there was even anyone in there. I could hear someone whispering, but no one was talking to me. I started thinking, "this is it...there's nothing they can do. The infection has gotten too bad, they can't control my fever, and I'm going to die right here". I have never felt so helpless in my life. But after about 20 more minutes of this, they came back in and said they were ready to begin. The surgery went fine, and I was taken to another room for an ultrasound of my urinary tract to try to find out why the infection had started. Then I was taken back up to the room.

The next day we found out what the infection was precisely...E. Coli!! That's right folks, I had E. Coli. Still don't know how or why...but that's what it was. Also on Wednesday, I had to start the neupogen shots that I was supposed to be doing at home...but I'd be doing them in the hospital. The next few days were not quite as eventful, but I was still dealing with the fevers and the chills and horrible headaches. After a few days of the neupogen shots, I started to experience what I had been told I more than likely would...bone pain. The purpose of neupogen is to spur the bones to release the stem cells so that we could collect them. So it's not uncommon for your bones to hurt while this happens. The ones that hurt the most were my back, hips and knees...and my head...oh god my head.

So the ultrasound and subsequent CT scan of my urinary tract confirmed what we had thought. I have a kidney stone in my right kidney. It was one that would be too big to pass, so they'd have to lithotripsy it, or blast it into pieces with radio waves. When it rains it pours. We still haven't done that, however, because my counts haven't been high enough for it.

The chemo had done it's job...it had knocked my blood counts into the basement. The neupogen was there to boost them back up again. The count they were monitoring was my neutrophils, which are really tiny white cells, and are most important for killing infection. So the neutrophil level had to be at .500 before they could let me go home. Well, on Sunday, it was still at .000. It didn't look like I was going home anytime soon. Then on Monday, a week after I was admitted, it was .200...definitely an improvement, but still not going home. Tuesday, when they brought the lab results in, my neutrophils were 2.200...much higher than the necessary .500!! I was gonna get to go home. But before I could go, they had to put the catheter back in, because there would be no way to collect the stem cells without it. Around 2pm, I went down to surgery and had that puppy put back in. Then I got to my grandparents house around 6pm on Tuesday, May 8th...I was free!! My grandparents live in Smyrna, which is about half as far from the clinic that my mom's house in Morrow.

We had to go into the clinic at 8am on Wednesday, just for lab work. We needed to see what the overall white count was, because stem cell collection could not begin until they reached a certain point. Well, it had reached that point, and we started collection!! The machine is the same one used to collect platelets. It pulls blood out of my catheter, spins the stem cells out, and then returns the blood to me. The goal is 2-5 million stem cells. This usually takes a few collections, so we were planning on doing this several days in a row. It took about three hours to do the collection, so I just sat there reading harry potter, (I've been re-reading 1-6 so that I can be ready for when the last one comes out in July...I'm a dork I know!). After that was done, they wanted to change the dressing on my catheter and I would get to go home. As they were changing the dressing they decided to use some adhesive remover to remove some of the tape residue on my chest from all the procedures from the past week. Since my incision from the surgery was exposed, the two nurses and I were all wearing surgical masks to stop it from getting infected. Well, as they were cleaning up the tape residue, my lungs became irritated and I started coughing and my heart started beating fast and irregularly. They immediately put me on oxygen and took me back to the room with the hospital bed I had been in for collection. They pushed some more lasix, (yippee), through my IV and hooked up the EKG, blood pressure cuff and pulse ox monitor, (which monitors the oxygen level in your blood). My pulse ox was down to 85%, which it's supposed to be as close to 100% as you can get, and mine is normally around 99%. At this point, every nurse, technician and doctor in the clinic was either in there working on me or standing out in the hall watching anxiously. It was to the point I'd have to kick out 10 or so people every 10 minutes so I could pee...damn lasix!! My nurse told me, "ya know Lucas...if you wanted a clinic headcount, all you had to do was ask and I'd give it to ya!!". So, it was off to the hospital again yesterday to figure this one out!! More blood cultures were done, another urinalysis, and VRE test...yippee. But, shortly after we got in the hospital, we did get some good news. After only one collection, they got 7.23 million stem cells....well over the 2-5 million goal!! After overnight observation, no more reactions, and negative blood tests, I was released this morning. They never figured it out definitively, but our guess is I reacted to something in the adhesive remover. The ingredients of the adhesive remover: mineral oil, fragrance, and lanolin. Who knows what the hell in that list I reacted to, but I'll just stay away from medical adhesive remover.

So, tomorrow, I have to be at the clinic at 8am for blood work and fluids. The hope is, after that, we get the weekend off!! Sorry this update was so long, but I think you'll agree, I had a lot to tell you!! Hope it was informative, and just message me if you have any questions!! That's all for now!!

The fun begins...or welcome to the Thrillerdome

Ok, so for those of who actually took the time to read the blog which detailed every minute of my life for the duration of the stem cell transplant, (and no, I didn't actually expect any of you to read it in it's entirety! :) ), it began today. If you would pull out your Lucas schedule quick reference guides, today was catheter placement at 11am, and another fun-filled spinal tap at 1pm. So, I just wanted to update you all on how that went.

First of all, the catheter was supposed to be very similar to the procedure when the port for chemotherapy was put in place. I was to be given a mild sedative and pain med, to put me in what's called a "twilight" state. One where I can't feel anything, and am for the most part "out", but could answer questions, etc. When I had the surgery to have the port implanted, this "twilight" sedation knocked me the fuck out...which as I'm sure you know, is okey-dokey by me!! So, that's what I was expecting today. Flash forward to me laying on the table with cloth over my face, betadine on every inch of my chest, and bob marley on the surgeon's radio, (actually it was the radio tuned to Dave FM, but I was happy with their current selection). The anesthesiologist is explaining the "twilight zone" to me, and then she begins to give me the first drug, that in her words would put me in an "extreme relaxed state". As she's injecting it into my IV, she says, "Huh...it doesn't seem to be going in. Let me see where the tube might be kinked". So, she finds the "kink"...according to her, and injects the twilight stuff followed by the pain meds. I notice no change. Last tie I was given what I'm sure were the exact same drugs, the next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery. Again, I'm not supposed to be asleep, but that's what I was expecting. While what i experienced next was not nearly as bad as say a frontal lobotomy with no anesthesia...it certainly was not pleasant. I could feel a lot more than I would have liked to...and was by no means in an extreme relaxed state. Oh well...it's done. Now, for those of you who are wondering what this catheter looks like, and what the procedure to install said catheter entails, I will elaborate. Here's what one looks like, and here's a really crude drawing that some really smart second grader did of how the insertion of said catheter takes place. It's just like the port...a tiny incision is made to access the jugular vein. Then a larger incision is made below your collar bone, and they begin to tunnel through your skin towards the jugular vein. Then the tube is inserted into your jugular vein. The part of the catheter that sticks out of your skin, has three "lumens"...see first pic. Since the catheter goes into your jugular vein...blood can be drawn from one lumen, while drugs are infused simultaneously infused through another, etc.

With the technical aspect aside...I'm sore. I don't remember being sore from the port implantation, but I'm told I was. Which is weird, because this was supposed to be much easier...oh well. I'm sore nonetheless.

Tomorrow I have to be at the clinic at 7:30am to begin my "mobilization chemo". Which will stimulate my bone marrow to release the stem cells. Remember I love chemo, so it shall be fun.

More updates to follow...and say it with me..."CANCER SUCKS"!!

Cancer Crap 2

So it started today...the fun stem cell transplant. As you might have read in the last cancer related blog, the actual transplant has not started yet...just the pre-testing. So, it was an early morning CT/PET Scan...followed by a lovely afternoon spinal tap. Mmmmm...nothing says spring like a spinal tap. Luckily, I'm not going through the god awful spinal headaches...so far. Let's all cross our collective fingers! So tomorrow it's back to northside for more testes, wrapped up with a bone marrow biopsy. For those who aren't familiar, that's where they take a needle and stick it into your hip bone and take a core sample...it's simply divine!! Toodles!!

I'm Engaged!!

You heard it right!! Candice and I got engaged last night!! We went back to the place we had our first date, bahama breeze. The plan was to continue to US Play for pool, also like we did on our first date. But, Candice didn't feel like playing pool. So, I got down on one knee right there next to our table, and she said YES!!! And we got lots of congratulations and congratulatory head nods from various waiters, waitresses and fellow patrons. So there you go...that's it!! We're thinking May 10th, 2008...so keep that in mind!!

Cancer Crap 1

So, I am now through with the six standard chemo treatments...and there was much rejoicing! yay. So the next step is the analogous stem cell transplant..which will be no fun at all. So here's the schedule:

Wednesday April 11th - I arrive at Northside hospital at 7:45 am for a CT/PET scan. Then at 1pm I have a lumbar puncture, (or spinal tap...not fun).

Thursday April 12th - 9:45am - Echocardiogram. 11:00am CT Scan. Noon - Labs, EKG, Pulminary Function test. 1pm - Bone marrow biopsy, (also..not fun at all). 2:00pm - meet with insurance people. 2:30pm - meeting with health psychologist.

Thursday April 19th - 10am until 3pm - educational stuff.

Thursday April 25th - By this point, I will no longer be at work. 10am - Labs PT/PTT, CBC, CMET, MAG...don't know what all those letters mean, but I'm sure it means they'll be drawing some viles of blood for testing. 1pm - Catheter placement, (NO...not that kind of catheter!! This will be on the left side of my chest for infusing drugs, drawing blood and stem cells, and putting the stem cells back in later).

Thursday April 26th - 7:30am until 2:30pm - Mobilization Chemo. This is the one that is similar to what I'm getting now.

Friday April 27th - Connect to the Mesna Pump. This is a pump that I'll wear 24 hours a day to infuse chemo.

May 2nd through the 11th - G-CSF injections at home, (pretty sure this is the stuf mentioned above).

May 8th through 11th - PBSC Collection. This is when they'll harvest the stem cells.

May 29th - Test dose Busulfan. (this is part of the "killer" chemo that will wipe out my entire immune system and bone marrow).

May 31st - Pick up Adjusted Oral Busulfan Dose.

June 1st through 4th - Oral dose Busulfan.

June 4th through 6th - 7:30am until 2:30pm - IV high dose chemotherapy...the killer stuff, (really not fun).

June 8th - 7:30am - transplant infusion of stem cells. I will also be staying in the transplant wing at northside hospital after this for a time to be determined.

August 8th - Possible return back to work. Yes I will be out this long. And throughout all of this, I will basically be a hermit. There is a huge list of places I can't go, things I can't do, etc. So, please don't be upset with me if I can't see you until August!! It's nothing personal! But, hopefully after this, I will have to deal with this cancer crap no more!!

Remission???

Ok. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, but I got some semi-exciting news today. I went in for a MUGA scan today, (basically they inject radioactive particles into your bloodstream, then watch your heart to see if the chemo has effected how efficiently your heart pumps blood). As I am temporarily radioactive, I tried jumping off the roof to see if I had any special powers such as the ability to fly...but to no avail. After the MUGA, I went to my doctor's office for routine bloodwork. While we were at the doc's office we asked if they had gotten the results from the PET scan we had done last week. They were sure they had gotten them, but did not have them at this particular office, because they have 5 different offices. Well, long story short they had the results faxed over to the current office, and called me with the results. Now, this was a nurse talking and not my oncologist. So, I will get a much more detailed explanation from my oncologist next week. But, she said the scan was good. I asked what that meant and was told that all that cancer that was on the first PET scan when I got the diagnosis, has since been eliminated by the chemo. Ergo, no cancer in the Lucas. I take that to mean that I am remission, but I will not celebrate until I hear my Doctor say it. So, let's not crack open the champagne yet, but it is indeed very good news that the chemo is doing its job! She said that the only remarkable feature of this PET scan as noted by the radiolologist is that I have no spleen...duh, it was riddled with cancer, so I had that sucker ripped out! So, I think that's it for now, and I will let you know all the details my doc has for me next week. Yay, chemo!!

Chemotherapy: a survival guide.

Ok. I'm writing this as I try to go to sleep the night after receiving my third round of chemotherapy. This is meant as a survival guide not only for those who are cursed to go through chemotherapy, but also those who have to attempt to deal with those going through chemotherapy. Now, let me say this first. Just as there are many different types of cancer, there are also many different types of chemotherapy and different intensities and durations of chemotherapy. I can only speak to the type of chemotherapy that has been given to me to combat the specific type of cancer I am battling, which is the C.H.O.P-R. treatment for a variant of non-hodgkins lymphoma. That's as deep as I will delve into it, because hell...I cannot even pronounce, much less spell the 5 chemicals they are pumping into my body. I go once every three weeks, for a total of 6 treatments. Each treatment last between 4 and a half to 6 hours. So that's the boring explanatory portion of the survival guide. Now to the fun part.

Everyone asks me, "What's it like to go through chemo?"..."Do you feel like you're drunk, or stoned or tripping?". No...I friggin wish. Then it might actually be something I looked forward to. I really think the government should allow some mind-altering agent to be given along with the standard chemicals...but I digress. Before I answer those questions, allow me to explain my thinking on how the chemicals futz with your brain. The chemicals used to attack the cancer are essentially toxic chemicals. Now, these chemicals are designed to attack the fastest growing cells in the body, because the fastest growing cells are the cancer cells. So, one might think that they don't effect any cells other than the cancer cells. But, that would be wrong, because it also attacks hair folicles, because thay are also fast growing cells, thus the baldness associated with chemo. So, I've come to the conclusion that it also has some (at the very least temoporary, if not permanent effects) on brain cells as well. As I've racked my brain to answer the question of how it feels to undergo chemotherapy, there's no easy answer. The generally accepted answer in the Chemo club is "chemo brain". But that really explains nothing. Some of the words or phrases I've used to describe the feeling are "icky", "removed", or "autopilot", or "you just feel like you've had chemicals running through your brain all day". But none of those seemed right. So, as I was trying to get to sleep tonight, I decided to quantify the feelings, and this is what I've come up with.

The term I think fits it best is "detached". From the minute you get out of the very comfortable recliner you've been in for the last 6 hours getting the juice, you feel like your brain has been shut off. Or, more so like you're brain is functioning from off site somewhere and relaying simple commands for your body to function. You think, but you can't think too much. You can't be expected to make any sort of decisions in the 24 hours after chemo. If you are forced to think too much it will give you a headache. But, even that's not right, because in this state your brain cannot even to be expected to come to a decision on whether you actually have a headache or not! So, I just typically take a percoset...just in case I do have a headache.

Holding a conversation with someone after chemo is not an easy task either. I'm told all the time that I seem distracted. Well, I really think my brain is simply trying to grasp what is being sent to it on such a rudementary level that is struggles to keep up. I usually just answer, "Sorry...chemo brain".

People going through chemo...lemme just give you a tip: for the 24 hours after chemo...become a vegetable. Don't do anything that you have to really think about or you will only cause yourself grief, and then argue with yourself for 3 hours on whether or not you have given yourself a headache. I would simply suggest sleep. I spent 3 hours tonight flipping back and forth between modern marvels on the history channel, and mythbusters on discovery. When I finally turned off the TV, my head was literally hot, and I had broken into a sweat. I think I overheated my brain. I expected a tiny radiator cap to shoot off my head...followed my a geyser of steam. But even after that, I could not sleep. So here it is, 4am, and I'm writing this...fuck me.

So I guess my advice for those of you trying to deal with us tired souls going through chemo...just give up on the 24 hours directly after chemo. We suck during this time, and you really shouldn't frustrate yourself.

Couple last bit of news. As this was my third treatment, we will redo all the tests and scans that we did before we started. This will determine where we are in the treatment, how well the cancer is responding, and whether we have this thing kicked into remisison. If it is responding well, we may not have to do all 6 of the tratments as previously planned. Regardless of how many treatments we do, 3 weeks after the final treatment, I will begin the process of the stem cell, (or bone marrow) transplant.

And finally, for those of you interested in donating platelets, there is no way to coordinate a platelet drive in the traditional sense. So, you need to call Atlanta Blood Services at Northside Hospital at (404)459-8744. When you call, say that you are donating the platelets for Lucas Johnson. This way, (unlike the red cross) the platelets can go directly to me if I need them. Platelets only have a shelf-life of 5 days.

Anyhoo, I hope this didn't bore the shit out of you. And I hope maybe it explained a little of what I've been going through. And maybe...just maybe it might explain why when I talk to some of you I have a blank look on my face and steam coming out of my ears.