Sorry it's been a while, but things have been pretty busy here at the Northside hospital. Anyway, all those details are pretty mundane, so I'll spare you the monotony. Long story short I was more than likely slated to leave this place today...yippee!!
However...the only detail that relates to this particular blog was that every evening I was running a fever, sometimes reaching as high as 104. So, in trying to figure this conundrum, they decided to give me a CAT scan. They thought it might be sinus backup, or fluid in my lungs, or worst yet a head cold!! OOOOOO! But, what they did discover with the tools of modern medicine was that my gall bladder was enlarged and not the right consistency for a normal gall bladder.
Now for those of you who are just now joining us on the magical mystery tour that is my life, (minus the Technicolor dream coat), I'll throw this out to get you caught up. Or you could not be lazy and scroll all the way to the bottom and start at the beginning. But as most of you are like me and demand instant gratification, the way we found out I had cancer in the first place was that I underwent a CAT scan to see how many kidney stones I currently had and what size they were. When the Doc looked at the results, his exact words were, "Dude...your spleen is huge!). Not really the type of medical jargon one might expect from an accomplished ER doctor, but I definitely knew what he meant. So I went to an oncologist, did some tests that found out that it was non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, the bulk of it residing in "huge" spleen. So then I was referred to a surgeon to take that puppy out, which was done so on November 10th, 2006. Once it was removed, pieces of it were sent all over the country to be typed and analyzed. And with most abdominal surgeries, the appendix is also removed at the same time. I guess it's just now widely accepted that the appendix is useless and just taking up space, and acts up ever now and then to make its presence know. Well, I silenced that puppy....bitch. Now enough of the past...
...and on to the present. I was given the wonderful news that the fevers every night, problems with (sorry I have to go here), diarrhea, were more than likely due to my weird gall bladder. Doctors consulted each, where I'm sure there was a lot of head nodding and grunting in agreement with each other to boost the individual egos at the table. Actually, I like all the docs here at Northside. I joke that I've had just about every other procedure done here, I might as well try to be the fist man to birth a child...after all this is known as "the baby factory". I've gotten a few chuckles from my awesome idea but so far no serious takers. So, instead of going home today after staring at the same walls for 3 weeks, I got to go to surgery...and there was much rejoicing...yay. Normally when removing a gall bladder or a spleen, it's done laparoscopically. Which, I'm sure you already know is where they make a tiny incision, (usually more than one), which is basically a small camera with instruments of torture attached as well so that they can remove whatever tissue they desire back through the first small incision, No muss, no fuss, no horribly hideous scars. Now, with my spleen being the size of a regulation NFL sized football, this was not a option. So from that one I do have a pretty big scar, and if anyone asks, I got it in a knife fight in Calcutta.
Sorry I ramble, but I'm on quite a bit of prescription drugs, (refer to the previous blog entitle
"Cancer sucks....but the drug-induced haze is nice). So, back the lecture at hand, the main difference between having this procedure done laparoscopically and the old-fashioned slice and dice method, is the length of hospital stay post-op. Seeing as laparoscopic is less invasive, it requires less time in the hospital, which of course gets my vote. But the Doc seemed to think in our consultation that the sheer size and thickness would prove this impossible...I'm starting to not like this doctor. So it comes time to wheel me down to surgery. Keep in mind you can't eat or drink anything for 12 hours prior to surgery. We get a call saying the dude that will be doing the anesthesia got a flat tire on his motorcycle as he was getting off the exit for work. So he had to push his bike to a safe place on the side of the Glenridge connector, and then hoof it the mile into work, carrying all of crap for the day. I finally begged someone into letting me have 2 (yes I said 2) chips of ice to tide me over until after the surgery. I will say this about the anesthesiologist dude. Had he gotten a flat tire on his KIA or Geo metro, I would have no sympathy for him...at least he was on a motorcycle.
So, everything's setup for the surgery, and as always with me, I don't even get to start counting along with the doc and I'm already passed the fuck out. But, when I awaken after what seems like 5 seconds, (which in all actuality was around and hour) I find a very pleasant surprise...(Whatever might that be, O quandary of modern medial science?). Where I expected there to be a huge bandage covering my brand spanking new huge scar...I see 4 small cotton balls covering the 4 tiny incisions from my gall bladder being laparoscopically removed from my body!!!! So, this means, (barring anything else unseen cropping up, as usually does with me), I could be released as early as Tuesday, which in my opinion, is MUCH better than a week from now!!
And one last note of importance, today is like day sixteen of fifty after the transplant. My counts are looking good, which means the stem cells are finding their new homes, moving into their new houses, perhaps doing some nice landscaping...but they're doing their jobs dammit!! They're rebuilding my immune system!! OK, I should probably get some rest. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it, even though I'm still in a good bit of pain from the surgery. More updates as they become available!!
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