Friday, June 1, 2007

High Dose Chemo

Current mood: tired
Category: Life

Ok...so I started the oral high dose chemo yesterday. So far I feel fine. The pharmacy lady at the clinic said I prob wouldn't start feeling bad until around the time of the transplant. Which, if you're following along with the home version, is a week from today!! So, there is light at the end of the tunnel! Anyway, I am thoroughly impressed with the oral chemo pills. In essence, each dose is 24 little pills. But what they've done, so that you don't have to sit there and take 24 pills, is to put 6 of them into one clear gelcap. That way, I'm only taking 4 pills instead of 24...pretty ingenious. On top of the chemo pills, I'm also on 3 different anti-nausea pills, and anti-seizure meds. I'm on all of them because 2 side effects of the chemo pills are vomiting and seizures...good times! So, I've got the weekend off, and we go back on Monday for the IV high dose chemo. We'll do that for 3 days, then I'll have Thursday "off", then I'll get my stem cells back on Friday the 8th!! So, just keep praying that everything goes according to plan and we stay on schedule!! I'll update y'all when I have more!!

Currently watching :
Modern Marvels - Walt Disney World (History Channel)
Release date: By 28 March, 2006

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

oh my god

If any of you watched any cartoons in the 80's, you must must must watch this entire clip. Do not open it unless you have 30 minutes to kill...seriously it's 30 minutes long, but sooooooo worth it!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bto7l3cKhvk

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Happy Birthday...have some chemo!

So tomorrow's my birthday...I'll be 29. So, just like Christmas, I'll be spending my birthday getting chemo. And today, I started the first round of the high dose chemotherapy, which will kill my immune system. "Why would you want to kill your immune system?", you may ask. We want to do that so that we can start with a clean slate when we re-introduce the stem cells which we have stored for the transplant.

This first round of the high dose chemo is by mouth. I'll be taking 6 pills four times a day for the next week or so. Then the next round will be the IV high dose chemo. So, long story short, I'm gonna be feeling like shit warmed over for the next few weeks. But, the good news is, this is the last step before we re-introduce the stem cells, and start the road to recovery. So, even though we still have a way to go, we're on the downhill stretch. Which is good, because I'm sick of this shit. I know that I have to go through all of this, but I'm ready to have my life back please! :) Every day this week the weather has been nice and I see all these guys riding their motorcycles, and want to be out there on mine. I want to move back into my house...you know, the one I pay the mortgage on! I want to be able to spend time with my fiancee. I want to spend time with my dog and cats. I want to be able to sleep in my bed. I want to spend the evenings sitting in the rocking chair on my front porch. Believe it or not, I want to work! I am just ready to take my life back from this stupid cancer! And I know that this is the last step before that can happen. Don't take this as me not being optimistic...I'm still optimistic. I'm just frustrated and ready to be done. I think all of you can understand that. And I'm a little apprehensive, because, where as I know this is the nasty part, I have no idea how nasty it's gonna be for me. They've told me what I could expect, but I have no idea what to expect...does that make sense? It's just a very weird time right now, and I don't know what to think. Again, I know I have to do this, that it is vital to my continuing to remain on this earth. But, I just wish I didn't have to go through all of this. I guess I'm just going through a bout of the "Why Me's?". Which I think I'm allowed to do from time to time! I think I've earned the right to bitch and moan whenever I feel like it. I have remained fairly positive throughout all of this thus far, so one little bitch session is OK...right?

If this impromptu bitch session was not OK with you...tough shit...don't read it! :) I do feel a little better...OK, not really. But, I think venting from time to time is necessary to cleanse the soul. I'll continue to keep you guys updated. And I'll let you know if this high dose chemo really kicks my ass. Happy Birthday to me!!

Cancer Crap 3

Ok...I realized it had been a while, so I thought I'd give everyone an update on what's been going on with the cancer shit. If you've been following your schedules, I should have been lounging at home all week giving myself shots of neupogen to boost my body to produce white cells so that we can collect stem cells for the transplant. However, on Sunday, April 29th, my body had a different idea...

I was at my mom's house, she's my primary caregiver through all of this since I can't drive, doing everything as I had been, when I started getting really cold. So we grabbed the thermometer, and sure enough, I had a temp! But we just kept an eye on it, and the clinic said we should come in if it got to 100.5 or higher.

Well, Monday morning it hadn't gone down, and it actually got up to 100.6. So we called the clinic and they told us to head in. We got there probably around 9:00am. I was shaking pretty bad from the fever, and it hadn't gone down any. So they put me on fluids, and gave me IV Lasix, which I soon learned is liquid devil. It's a diuretic, so makes you have to pee a gallon every 10 minutes. Anyway, things were not getting any better, and so around 2pm I was admitted to the bone marrow unit at Northside Hospital. They gave me more Lasix, and there was much rejoicing...yay. So, they said I obviously had some kind of infection, and with my blood counts being as low as they were, they had to find out fast what it was and stop it, or I could very well die. More good news for me. Blood cultures were done, urine samples were taken, I also had to get tested for VRE, (which I still don't know what VRE is) which involved swabbing my booty hole with a Q-tip...I love hospitals. Anyway, they were giving me lots of fluids and Tylenol trying to get my fever to go down...it didn't.

The next day the doctor told me that they were narrowing down what the infection was, but the blood cultures would take a few days. But from the urine sample, they were fairly certain that the infection started in my urinary tract. But they had no idea how far it had spread, and seeing how the body hates foreign bodies, they would have to take out my port and brand new catheter that I mentioned in the last update. I was scheduled for surgery the next day to have them both taken out. As we were getting ready to head down for the surgery, my fever started getting worse and worse. I was shaking so bad from it, that they had to give me a shot of Demerol to stop me from shaking. The IV nurse was in there trying to put in the IV since I would no longer have the central catheter, but she was having trouble because of how bad I was shaking. My fever was so bad that the Demerol only lasted about 5 minutes before the uncontrollable shaking started again. They ended up giving me 3 shots of Demerol, which is a bit too much, as I started to throw up, (most of which I had to be told later because I had absolutely no recollection). Our nurse did not want to tell us at the time, but my temperature at the time was 106.8!!! I didn't even know it could get that high! So I was taken down to surgery. As you could imagine, with a temp of 106.8, I was sweating buckets, so that was making it hard for them to prep me for surgery. Since my nurses knew I was going in for surgery, I couldn't eat or drink anything prior to surgery. Now, hours later and god knows how much I had sweated out, I was dying of thirst!! So they got me prepped, and had to wait until my blood pressure stabilized before they could do the surgery. I laid there for what seemed like hours. The nurse started giving me the medication for what they call twilight sleep. This is usually uneventful, and you drift off into sleep. This time I started feeling weird. My eyes started going back and forth uncontrollably, like in REM sleep. My legs started twitching, and I just had this really strange feeling. I kept saying I felt weird, but nobody answered me and I don't think there was even anyone in there. I could hear someone whispering, but no one was talking to me. I started thinking, "this is it...there's nothing they can do. The infection has gotten too bad, they can't control my fever, and I'm going to die right here". I have never felt so helpless in my life. But after about 20 more minutes of this, they came back in and said they were ready to begin. The surgery went fine, and I was taken to another room for an ultrasound of my urinary tract to try to find out why the infection had started. Then I was taken back up to the room.

The next day we found out what the infection was precisely...E. Coli!! That's right folks, I had E. Coli. Still don't know how or why...but that's what it was. Also on Wednesday, I had to start the neupogen shots that I was supposed to be doing at home...but I'd be doing them in the hospital. The next few days were not quite as eventful, but I was still dealing with the fevers and the chills and horrible headaches. After a few days of the neupogen shots, I started to experience what I had been told I more than likely would...bone pain. The purpose of neupogen is to spur the bones to release the stem cells so that we could collect them. So it's not uncommon for your bones to hurt while this happens. The ones that hurt the most were my back, hips and knees...and my head...oh god my head.

So the ultrasound and subsequent CT scan of my urinary tract confirmed what we had thought. I have a kidney stone in my right kidney. It was one that would be too big to pass, so they'd have to lithotripsy it, or blast it into pieces with radio waves. When it rains it pours. We still haven't done that, however, because my counts haven't been high enough for it.

The chemo had done it's job...it had knocked my blood counts into the basement. The neupogen was there to boost them back up again. The count they were monitoring was my neutrophils, which are really tiny white cells, and are most important for killing infection. So the neutrophil level had to be at .500 before they could let me go home. Well, on Sunday, it was still at .000. It didn't look like I was going home anytime soon. Then on Monday, a week after I was admitted, it was .200...definitely an improvement, but still not going home. Tuesday, when they brought the lab results in, my neutrophils were 2.200...much higher than the necessary .500!! I was gonna get to go home. But before I could go, they had to put the catheter back in, because there would be no way to collect the stem cells without it. Around 2pm, I went down to surgery and had that puppy put back in. Then I got to my grandparents house around 6pm on Tuesday, May 8th...I was free!! My grandparents live in Smyrna, which is about half as far from the clinic that my mom's house in Morrow.

We had to go into the clinic at 8am on Wednesday, just for lab work. We needed to see what the overall white count was, because stem cell collection could not begin until they reached a certain point. Well, it had reached that point, and we started collection!! The machine is the same one used to collect platelets. It pulls blood out of my catheter, spins the stem cells out, and then returns the blood to me. The goal is 2-5 million stem cells. This usually takes a few collections, so we were planning on doing this several days in a row. It took about three hours to do the collection, so I just sat there reading harry potter, (I've been re-reading 1-6 so that I can be ready for when the last one comes out in July...I'm a dork I know!). After that was done, they wanted to change the dressing on my catheter and I would get to go home. As they were changing the dressing they decided to use some adhesive remover to remove some of the tape residue on my chest from all the procedures from the past week. Since my incision from the surgery was exposed, the two nurses and I were all wearing surgical masks to stop it from getting infected. Well, as they were cleaning up the tape residue, my lungs became irritated and I started coughing and my heart started beating fast and irregularly. They immediately put me on oxygen and took me back to the room with the hospital bed I had been in for collection. They pushed some more lasix, (yippee), through my IV and hooked up the EKG, blood pressure cuff and pulse ox monitor, (which monitors the oxygen level in your blood). My pulse ox was down to 85%, which it's supposed to be as close to 100% as you can get, and mine is normally around 99%. At this point, every nurse, technician and doctor in the clinic was either in there working on me or standing out in the hall watching anxiously. It was to the point I'd have to kick out 10 or so people every 10 minutes so I could pee...damn lasix!! My nurse told me, "ya know Lucas...if you wanted a clinic headcount, all you had to do was ask and I'd give it to ya!!". So, it was off to the hospital again yesterday to figure this one out!! More blood cultures were done, another urinalysis, and VRE test...yippee. But, shortly after we got in the hospital, we did get some good news. After only one collection, they got 7.23 million stem cells....well over the 2-5 million goal!! After overnight observation, no more reactions, and negative blood tests, I was released this morning. They never figured it out definitively, but our guess is I reacted to something in the adhesive remover. The ingredients of the adhesive remover: mineral oil, fragrance, and lanolin. Who knows what the hell in that list I reacted to, but I'll just stay away from medical adhesive remover.

So, tomorrow, I have to be at the clinic at 8am for blood work and fluids. The hope is, after that, we get the weekend off!! Sorry this update was so long, but I think you'll agree, I had a lot to tell you!! Hope it was informative, and just message me if you have any questions!! That's all for now!!

The fun begins...or welcome to the Thrillerdome

Ok, so for those of who actually took the time to read the blog which detailed every minute of my life for the duration of the stem cell transplant, (and no, I didn't actually expect any of you to read it in it's entirety! :) ), it began today. If you would pull out your Lucas schedule quick reference guides, today was catheter placement at 11am, and another fun-filled spinal tap at 1pm. So, I just wanted to update you all on how that went.

First of all, the catheter was supposed to be very similar to the procedure when the port for chemotherapy was put in place. I was to be given a mild sedative and pain med, to put me in what's called a "twilight" state. One where I can't feel anything, and am for the most part "out", but could answer questions, etc. When I had the surgery to have the port implanted, this "twilight" sedation knocked me the fuck out...which as I'm sure you know, is okey-dokey by me!! So, that's what I was expecting today. Flash forward to me laying on the table with cloth over my face, betadine on every inch of my chest, and bob marley on the surgeon's radio, (actually it was the radio tuned to Dave FM, but I was happy with their current selection). The anesthesiologist is explaining the "twilight zone" to me, and then she begins to give me the first drug, that in her words would put me in an "extreme relaxed state". As she's injecting it into my IV, she says, "Huh...it doesn't seem to be going in. Let me see where the tube might be kinked". So, she finds the "kink"...according to her, and injects the twilight stuff followed by the pain meds. I notice no change. Last tie I was given what I'm sure were the exact same drugs, the next thing I knew I was waking up in recovery. Again, I'm not supposed to be asleep, but that's what I was expecting. While what i experienced next was not nearly as bad as say a frontal lobotomy with no anesthesia...it certainly was not pleasant. I could feel a lot more than I would have liked to...and was by no means in an extreme relaxed state. Oh well...it's done. Now, for those of you who are wondering what this catheter looks like, and what the procedure to install said catheter entails, I will elaborate. Here's what one looks like, and here's a really crude drawing that some really smart second grader did of how the insertion of said catheter takes place. It's just like the port...a tiny incision is made to access the jugular vein. Then a larger incision is made below your collar bone, and they begin to tunnel through your skin towards the jugular vein. Then the tube is inserted into your jugular vein. The part of the catheter that sticks out of your skin, has three "lumens"...see first pic. Since the catheter goes into your jugular vein...blood can be drawn from one lumen, while drugs are infused simultaneously infused through another, etc.

With the technical aspect aside...I'm sore. I don't remember being sore from the port implantation, but I'm told I was. Which is weird, because this was supposed to be much easier...oh well. I'm sore nonetheless.

Tomorrow I have to be at the clinic at 7:30am to begin my "mobilization chemo". Which will stimulate my bone marrow to release the stem cells. Remember I love chemo, so it shall be fun.

More updates to follow...and say it with me..."CANCER SUCKS"!!

Cancer Crap 2

So it started today...the fun stem cell transplant. As you might have read in the last cancer related blog, the actual transplant has not started yet...just the pre-testing. So, it was an early morning CT/PET Scan...followed by a lovely afternoon spinal tap. Mmmmm...nothing says spring like a spinal tap. Luckily, I'm not going through the god awful spinal headaches...so far. Let's all cross our collective fingers! So tomorrow it's back to northside for more testes, wrapped up with a bone marrow biopsy. For those who aren't familiar, that's where they take a needle and stick it into your hip bone and take a core sample...it's simply divine!! Toodles!!

I'm Engaged!!

You heard it right!! Candice and I got engaged last night!! We went back to the place we had our first date, bahama breeze. The plan was to continue to US Play for pool, also like we did on our first date. But, Candice didn't feel like playing pool. So, I got down on one knee right there next to our table, and she said YES!!! And we got lots of congratulations and congratulatory head nods from various waiters, waitresses and fellow patrons. So there you go...that's it!! We're thinking May 10th, 2008...so keep that in mind!!

Cancer Crap 1

So, I am now through with the six standard chemo treatments...and there was much rejoicing! yay. So the next step is the analogous stem cell transplant..which will be no fun at all. So here's the schedule:

Wednesday April 11th - I arrive at Northside hospital at 7:45 am for a CT/PET scan. Then at 1pm I have a lumbar puncture, (or spinal tap...not fun).

Thursday April 12th - 9:45am - Echocardiogram. 11:00am CT Scan. Noon - Labs, EKG, Pulminary Function test. 1pm - Bone marrow biopsy, (also..not fun at all). 2:00pm - meet with insurance people. 2:30pm - meeting with health psychologist.

Thursday April 19th - 10am until 3pm - educational stuff.

Thursday April 25th - By this point, I will no longer be at work. 10am - Labs PT/PTT, CBC, CMET, MAG...don't know what all those letters mean, but I'm sure it means they'll be drawing some viles of blood for testing. 1pm - Catheter placement, (NO...not that kind of catheter!! This will be on the left side of my chest for infusing drugs, drawing blood and stem cells, and putting the stem cells back in later).

Thursday April 26th - 7:30am until 2:30pm - Mobilization Chemo. This is the one that is similar to what I'm getting now.

Friday April 27th - Connect to the Mesna Pump. This is a pump that I'll wear 24 hours a day to infuse chemo.

May 2nd through the 11th - G-CSF injections at home, (pretty sure this is the stuf mentioned above).

May 8th through 11th - PBSC Collection. This is when they'll harvest the stem cells.

May 29th - Test dose Busulfan. (this is part of the "killer" chemo that will wipe out my entire immune system and bone marrow).

May 31st - Pick up Adjusted Oral Busulfan Dose.

June 1st through 4th - Oral dose Busulfan.

June 4th through 6th - 7:30am until 2:30pm - IV high dose chemotherapy...the killer stuff, (really not fun).

June 8th - 7:30am - transplant infusion of stem cells. I will also be staying in the transplant wing at northside hospital after this for a time to be determined.

August 8th - Possible return back to work. Yes I will be out this long. And throughout all of this, I will basically be a hermit. There is a huge list of places I can't go, things I can't do, etc. So, please don't be upset with me if I can't see you until August!! It's nothing personal! But, hopefully after this, I will have to deal with this cancer crap no more!!

Remission???

Ok. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, but I got some semi-exciting news today. I went in for a MUGA scan today, (basically they inject radioactive particles into your bloodstream, then watch your heart to see if the chemo has effected how efficiently your heart pumps blood). As I am temporarily radioactive, I tried jumping off the roof to see if I had any special powers such as the ability to fly...but to no avail. After the MUGA, I went to my doctor's office for routine bloodwork. While we were at the doc's office we asked if they had gotten the results from the PET scan we had done last week. They were sure they had gotten them, but did not have them at this particular office, because they have 5 different offices. Well, long story short they had the results faxed over to the current office, and called me with the results. Now, this was a nurse talking and not my oncologist. So, I will get a much more detailed explanation from my oncologist next week. But, she said the scan was good. I asked what that meant and was told that all that cancer that was on the first PET scan when I got the diagnosis, has since been eliminated by the chemo. Ergo, no cancer in the Lucas. I take that to mean that I am remission, but I will not celebrate until I hear my Doctor say it. So, let's not crack open the champagne yet, but it is indeed very good news that the chemo is doing its job! She said that the only remarkable feature of this PET scan as noted by the radiolologist is that I have no spleen...duh, it was riddled with cancer, so I had that sucker ripped out! So, I think that's it for now, and I will let you know all the details my doc has for me next week. Yay, chemo!!

Chemotherapy: a survival guide.

Ok. I'm writing this as I try to go to sleep the night after receiving my third round of chemotherapy. This is meant as a survival guide not only for those who are cursed to go through chemotherapy, but also those who have to attempt to deal with those going through chemotherapy. Now, let me say this first. Just as there are many different types of cancer, there are also many different types of chemotherapy and different intensities and durations of chemotherapy. I can only speak to the type of chemotherapy that has been given to me to combat the specific type of cancer I am battling, which is the C.H.O.P-R. treatment for a variant of non-hodgkins lymphoma. That's as deep as I will delve into it, because hell...I cannot even pronounce, much less spell the 5 chemicals they are pumping into my body. I go once every three weeks, for a total of 6 treatments. Each treatment last between 4 and a half to 6 hours. So that's the boring explanatory portion of the survival guide. Now to the fun part.

Everyone asks me, "What's it like to go through chemo?"..."Do you feel like you're drunk, or stoned or tripping?". No...I friggin wish. Then it might actually be something I looked forward to. I really think the government should allow some mind-altering agent to be given along with the standard chemicals...but I digress. Before I answer those questions, allow me to explain my thinking on how the chemicals futz with your brain. The chemicals used to attack the cancer are essentially toxic chemicals. Now, these chemicals are designed to attack the fastest growing cells in the body, because the fastest growing cells are the cancer cells. So, one might think that they don't effect any cells other than the cancer cells. But, that would be wrong, because it also attacks hair folicles, because thay are also fast growing cells, thus the baldness associated with chemo. So, I've come to the conclusion that it also has some (at the very least temoporary, if not permanent effects) on brain cells as well. As I've racked my brain to answer the question of how it feels to undergo chemotherapy, there's no easy answer. The generally accepted answer in the Chemo club is "chemo brain". But that really explains nothing. Some of the words or phrases I've used to describe the feeling are "icky", "removed", or "autopilot", or "you just feel like you've had chemicals running through your brain all day". But none of those seemed right. So, as I was trying to get to sleep tonight, I decided to quantify the feelings, and this is what I've come up with.

The term I think fits it best is "detached". From the minute you get out of the very comfortable recliner you've been in for the last 6 hours getting the juice, you feel like your brain has been shut off. Or, more so like you're brain is functioning from off site somewhere and relaying simple commands for your body to function. You think, but you can't think too much. You can't be expected to make any sort of decisions in the 24 hours after chemo. If you are forced to think too much it will give you a headache. But, even that's not right, because in this state your brain cannot even to be expected to come to a decision on whether you actually have a headache or not! So, I just typically take a percoset...just in case I do have a headache.

Holding a conversation with someone after chemo is not an easy task either. I'm told all the time that I seem distracted. Well, I really think my brain is simply trying to grasp what is being sent to it on such a rudementary level that is struggles to keep up. I usually just answer, "Sorry...chemo brain".

People going through chemo...lemme just give you a tip: for the 24 hours after chemo...become a vegetable. Don't do anything that you have to really think about or you will only cause yourself grief, and then argue with yourself for 3 hours on whether or not you have given yourself a headache. I would simply suggest sleep. I spent 3 hours tonight flipping back and forth between modern marvels on the history channel, and mythbusters on discovery. When I finally turned off the TV, my head was literally hot, and I had broken into a sweat. I think I overheated my brain. I expected a tiny radiator cap to shoot off my head...followed my a geyser of steam. But even after that, I could not sleep. So here it is, 4am, and I'm writing this...fuck me.

So I guess my advice for those of you trying to deal with us tired souls going through chemo...just give up on the 24 hours directly after chemo. We suck during this time, and you really shouldn't frustrate yourself.

Couple last bit of news. As this was my third treatment, we will redo all the tests and scans that we did before we started. This will determine where we are in the treatment, how well the cancer is responding, and whether we have this thing kicked into remisison. If it is responding well, we may not have to do all 6 of the tratments as previously planned. Regardless of how many treatments we do, 3 weeks after the final treatment, I will begin the process of the stem cell, (or bone marrow) transplant.

And finally, for those of you interested in donating platelets, there is no way to coordinate a platelet drive in the traditional sense. So, you need to call Atlanta Blood Services at Northside Hospital at (404)459-8744. When you call, say that you are donating the platelets for Lucas Johnson. This way, (unlike the red cross) the platelets can go directly to me if I need them. Platelets only have a shelf-life of 5 days.

Anyhoo, I hope this didn't bore the shit out of you. And I hope maybe it explained a little of what I've been going through. And maybe...just maybe it might explain why when I talk to some of you I have a blank look on my face and steam coming out of my ears.